Lillian Cohen-Moore

Because I have been asked in excess of a dozen times in three months, this is how the Hell I get work. This isn’t advice you can’t get anywhere else, I’m repeating pretty normative shit.

These don’t actually rank over each other, I’m just numbering because it’s fun.

1. I ask for them.

For every time I net a guest post, a staff writing job, a press pass, my asking for those things is often why I get them.

On the flip-side: for every thing someone says “Yes” to are dozens of rejections.  If you think asking is terrifying, freelancing probably isn’t for you. The bulk of the money I make every month is as a freelance writer, and I’ve been asking for these jobs since 2008.

I research, write, and send out dozens of articles and pitches in a month. Most of them die in slush piles. Way of the world. I try to learn from the dead projects so I can make better pitches, ask for jobs at the right time, and learn when shit will sell. So I guess this is actually “I ask for jobs and learn from when I don’t get them.”

2. I sometimes leave my house.

I go to coffee with people. I go to bars. I get lunch and dinner with peers, friends, and people I have literally never fucking met before. I even, G-d help me, go to cons. Humans like people they know and keep around in their lives; we tend to work with those people repeatedly. We know their strengths and weaknesses. They are a known quantity. If someone doesn’t know you, never heard your name, has no idea what your work style is like? They might be averse to working with you. If someone has at least met you, even if it was literally too loud for them to hear your side of the table, you’re still a step up from a complete stranger.

3. People ask me.

All my current staff jobs? People asked me. Most of my editing? People asked me. I largely credit busting my ass as often as possible, getting to know as wide a group of people as I can, being open about when my schedule is open (or too full) and doing my fucking job. People will ask when you have a track record, or when they know you, or when you seem like Good People. Or all of the above. Or none of the above. For all I know, some of my editors and clients cast secret rites of augury to see if they should hire me.

4. Do my fucking job.

If you are not an unbearable asshole, hand your shit in before or as close to deadline as possible, ask for extensions when needed, do quality work, and respond to critique/requests, you’re doing your job.

If you do your job, it will help you get work in the future.

If you are a slacker asshole who fucks up the lives of your editors and clients, you are not doing your job, and between the guilty conscious and the simmering hate you’re going to provoke, your professional life is going to be unpleasant for awhile.

5. Whenever possible, get paid.

I do some shit for love, not for money. It’s not the bulk of what I do.  For things I do get paid for, I invoice politely (unless being aggressive becomes necessity) and I make sure I get paid. Whenever possible, get paid. Volunteer work as all you do doesn’t build you a salary and rate history. No volunteering at all means you miss out working with some fucking great people. Letting people punch you in the gut and walk away with your money without doing something about it is a failure to build a freelancer skill you need to develop: you’re your own advocate for getting paid. Act like it. There is a fantastic video about this, Fuck You, Pay Me, that might help you if you’re new to freelancing and not sure how to make sure you get the money for your work.

If payment is an issue with a company you’re working with on a general level, you may be the only person willing to stand up and say “This is unprofessional, and this is an issue, and this is going to stop.”

You know how people passing a car wreck say “I’m sure someone will stop and help them?”

If you apply that to financial shit in your field, nobody stops to see a bad situation righted. And that’s a shit way to go through life. We’re all in this together.

My parents were foster parents to special needs and difficult to place children and teens. I only dimly remember some of my foster siblings; others, I only know from photos and stories. My parents took in the kids the system hated, the kids nobody else wanted. My foster brothers and sisters were disabled, violent, easily provoked. They had been under-served, and in many cases, unspeakably abused by their biological families, even prior foster homes.

I only know Brandon from stories. The few pictures my mother still has of him, and the Christmas ornaments he made while with my family. Brandon was disabled physically, as well as autistic. He was not high functioning, and needed an intense level of help to get through life. He needed a lot of love, and people who were willing to give it. I barely remember him, but I tear up every time I talk about him because my family loved him so much. Brandon was a kid, like I was, in the late 80′s, early 90′s. Kids should have a system, be it foster or school, that stands by them. Growing up, my family was the only thing that stood up for Brandon. Things were supposed to change by now.

The school system in Mountain View, California, is not standing by a young woman named Gwen. There’s a fund raiser to help her family, spearheaded by Ryan Macklin and Jessica Banks. The school Gwen attends won’t follow Gwen’s IEP (Individual Education Plan), which is a legal document that provides the steps any school, her school, must take to accommodate children with special needs.

Public schools are supposed to be schools for everyone, and that includes Gwen. A child with special needs is still a child who needs an education. By refusing to give Gwen the accommodations she needs, she is being thrown into the pile of children abandoned by a system that should stand up for them without being forced.

If you donate to the fundraiser, you’re going to get a little something back, and not just the satisfaction of helping a family fight for what is the legal obligation in this country of a school not to hurt its students. Authors that include Matt Forbeck, Will Hindmarch, Kenneth Hite, Cam Banks, Josh Roby, as well as others, have stepped up to provide some sweet sweet fiction for donors. You donate, you help Gwen, you help her family, you help the Autism Self-Advocacy Network if enough money gets raised. You get fiction from other people who are Fighting For Gwen, just like you.

Brandon, my foster brother, a little boy who will always be my brother, needed people to stand up and help him fight.  There are so many kids out there who deserve every chance at a good education. Do it for any of those kids, for none of them, for whatever reason, just help as much or as little as you can with pushing that number.  On another personal note:

As a kid, I would come home crying from school because kids called me retarded, and stupid. Because some of my teachers said the same things. I would come home crying because I spent so much of every week in a small, windowless room, with other kids the system said needed warehousing, not teaching. In an under-funded, under-staffed program for kids who needed someone to stand by us and our special needs. So if it helps, if it gives you another reason, do it for the little kid I was back then; sobbing to her mother that no one would ever think she was anything or ever see her as smart or capable or worth fighting for. The only person who fought for me was my mother.

But so many of you can fight for Gwen.

So please. For whatever reason you have. Fight for Gwen.

Gaming with Kids is an interview series where I talk with folks about gaming with their children. This second installment is an interview with Amanda and Clark Valentine.

Die from a LEGO game, a Story Cube, Eleminis cards, Munchkin cards, and dice from Pokemon On a Roll.

When did you start playing games with your kids?

To a great extent, answering this question relies on a definition of “game.” We’ve been interacting with the kids in game-like ways since they were capable of interacting with us—lots of peek-a-boo, seeing if they could find shapes in the world around us, etc. We played typical kid games when they were toddlers, such as Candyland—which Amanda has to admit she hates—and Kids of Catan—a beautiful alternative for learning about how to take turns, roll dice, and other basics of gameplay. Their first hobby game was Faery’s Tale, probably around ages 6 and 8. Now 9 and 11 years old, they’re starting on D&D and they’re able to play lots of more complicated board and card games that we enjoy, too.

What do you enjoy about playing games with your children?

It’s time we get to spend with the kids that isn’t us nagging them to do stuff. Although it isn’t always stress-free time, it’s definitely time that’s dedicated to doing something specific together, which is nice.

Especially when they were younger, the kids challenged Clark’s preconceived notions about the roles of GM and players—and this is coming from an already not-quite-traditional GM. He realized that the strict separation of player & GM is largely a construct that’s learned—our daughter in particular didn’t naturally follow that. For her, roleplaying games are “playing pretend with some rules”—and when you play pretend, everyone contributes to the story. She didn’t hesitate to create the challenges her character would need to overcome—“How about if the mouse princess was kidnapped by the goblins!” She hadn’t been trained to give that job to the GM.

We’re raising our own built-in game group! We get to share the aspects of game play that we most appreciate. Being the kids of professionals in the game industry, they have a sense of how games are made; they’re constantly creating and adapting their own games. At the moment, they’re hard at work on a LEGO based forest fire game—it seems like a mashup of Heroica and Forbidden Island.

Amanda doesn’t always join in the games—sometimes the lure of a few minutes to herself is too much. But even if she isn’t playing, she likes hearing her family having fun. The sound of laughter is wonderful. It’s also fun seeing the kids learning—a good game gets their minds going in creative ways.

What games are current household favorites?

Munchkin—our son in particular thinks this is the funniest thing he’s ever seen; Ligretto Dice—a fast paced dice game that’s beautiful in its simplicity; LEGO Heroica—we’re continuing to adapt and hack this game, and it’s fun that the kids join in that process; Carcassonne—this game has several very kid-friendly hacks, such as removing the farmers or playing it cooperatively to see how big you can make a city or how high you can get the score; D&D—they’ve played a couple short campaigns now, and a few of their classmates also play, so we’re hoping to get a middle school gaming group started at some point; Harry Potter Clue—this is one of the few licensed board games that is truly strengthened and improved by its license; Zelda and Mario games (Wii)—whether playing together or sharing experiences and universes, these games provide a lot of family fun; Professor Layton (DS)—although this is an individual game, solving the tougher puzzles often ends up being a family activity; chess—both with the nice wooden chess set and the iPad War Chess app, this game has captured our kids’ attention; Ascension—this is a deck building game that all of us can play, which is nice since only our son is really interested in collectible card games; Pokemon On a Roll—it’s like simplified Yahtzee but with Pokemon! The boy thinks it’s awesome; Rory’s Story Cubes—the kids can spend an amazing amount of time playing with these and giggling hysterically; Eleminis—a fast paced card game that has been particularly good at teaching game-decisions made on short-term strategy rather than always dumping on your sibling; Forbidden Island—the cooperative nature of this game makes it a particularly good family game, since you have to help each other or you’ll all fail.

Are there any games you wouldn’t let your children play, or don’t currently let them play?

We just can’t do first person shooter video games. Pretty much anything else we don’t play is a “Not yet” and/or a matter of where their interests lie. Horror isn’t a big theme in our house at this point, but that’s not so much a conscious choice to exclude it as just choosing other things instead.

How do you keep games fun for you and your kids?

One of the big things that has made family game time a lot more fun is introducing the kids to games we already love and want to play. Many parents (Amanda included) dread playing the luck driven and seemingly endless pre-school games, so it was a relief when the kids could start to handle games we wanted to play anyway. We also aren’t afraid to hack games to make them work better for our family—for instance, many games can easily be adapted to be more cooperative or to minimize player elimination.

We try to take a lot of our cues from them about what they like and what their interests are. During play, we also try to keep an eye on building tension and waning attention spans—diffusing tension or cutting the game short as necessary. In addition, we’re consciously and explicitly teach gaming etiquette, such as how to properly roll dice, how to deal and hold cards, winning and losing gracefully, taking a break when needed, and strategy vs. vendetta—which is particularly interesting when siblings play against each other! Sometimes you really should chose to work against Daddy instead of helping him, and consistently going after your sibling isn’t always the best strategy.

January pretty much flew by for me.

I wrote my Reverb Gamers responses ahead of time, toggled them to “Scheduled” and walked away from my blog. The price of traveling a lot in 2012: not as much random blogging as I’d like.  In fact, this isn’t even written on February first. It’s written the evening of January 26th, as I hammer away on projects due in February. I’d ponder how this is in fact a form of time travel, that memory and place are strange and liquid, but Will Hindmarch did it better. On a side note, I had a birthday in January. I spent it meeting two wonderful people who I had previously only known from twitter, and spent the day wandering Seattle, a city I fall in love with more every year. I found a shop called Paper Hammer that day, which I endorse visiting. It’s small and unique, and a must for typographic geeks.

The non-Reverb blog posts that I made here in January included being a fan of Logan Bonner’s Fiasco play style, and the first of a series of sporadic interviews about Gaming with Kids, the first one done with Jeff Dougan.

I started my 2012 year over at Geek’s Dream Girl talking about unaired pilots, Filmamena Young’s newest game, live tweeting your game, and stirring up paranoia in your games.

I had a guest post run at Clarion, #53 The Inside Job, on writing as a multiracial author. I also did a guest article at Jewschool, on the organizers behind the January dance protest in Beit Shemesh.

I did my monthly offering of sweat and blood to theatre, sporting my stage manager holster as the first show of the year kicked off. I agreed to host a show this fall, thus marking my rare, once a year appearance on stage as a foul-mouthed, Oakland loving, tequila shooting M.C. Which I suppose means I play a thinly veiled version of myself.

January’s been one weird, long month that at once feels too short and far too long. It’s been for travel, mixed results in terms of sleeping, and busting ass for February. It’s ghost writing public relations material and articles that won’t be published for months. And it’s been about waiting, sometimes impatiently, for news and answers; for stories stuck in development Hell to finally breathe in this world. It’s been for saying yes to projects both very far in the future much sooner than I’m prepared for.

Unless plans change, I’ll be working from the road all of February, sleeping in strange hotel rooms and riding front passenger on endless stretches of glimmering road and mountain passes. There are stories, and maybe even answer,  in those hills and future sunsets. I intend on finding them.

Reverb Gamers is a January long prompt bonanza run by Atlas Games. They’re giving daily prompts that revolve around RPGs and gaming. You can find them at  www.Atlas-Games.com and follow them on twitter @ReverbGamers.

REVERB GAMERS 2012, #31: How would your life be different if you’d never gotten into gaming?

My life wouldn’t be at all where it is now. There are people whose work I would have never read, games I’d never edited, friends I’d never make, people I’d never meet and fall in love with. Things about myself left unlearned, stories never told. I’d be a completely different person, with a completely different life.

Reverb Gamers is a January long prompt bonanza run by Atlas Games. They’re giving daily prompts that revolve around RPGs and gaming. You can find them at  www.Atlas-Games.com and follow them on twitter @ReverbGamers.

REVERB GAMERS 2012, #30: What lessons have you taken from gaming that you can apply to your
real life?

When shit upsets you, walk away and keep breathing for awhile. Obstactles are often overcome with the help of friends. Fear is something to overcome.  Children are precious. Faith is worth clinging to. Morals worth fighting for. Few things are black and white. Everyone has a reason, no matter how shitty. The future is malleable. The past is never entirely something one can escape. Facing your demons is unavoidable. Surviving is not a crime. Love is the most beautiful thing in the world.

Reverb Gamers is a January long prompt bonanza run by Atlas Games. They’re giving daily prompts that revolve around RPGs and gaming. You can find them at  www.Atlas-Games.com and follow them on twitter @ReverbGamers.

REVERB GAMERS 2012, #29: What does the word “gamer” mean to you? Is that different than what
other people seem to think it means?

Someone who loves games, and loves to play. It doesn’t matter what system, console, war game, card game or board game you love. It’s about loving the feeling playing a game gives, and the community we can build as gamers. That’s my definition, at least.

Reverb Gamers is a January long prompt bonanza run by Atlas Games. They’re giving daily prompts that revolve around RPGs and gaming. You can find them at  www.Atlas-Games.com and follow them on twitter @ReverbGamers.

REVERB GAMERS 2012, #28: Do you have any house rules when you game? What are they, and why
do you use them? If not, why not?

I’ve been in very few games without house rules. It’s usually a handful of rules that over course of play have shown to either not fit in chronicle theme, or seem too ambiguous to use as written. In Orpheus we had rules about was and wasn’t possible with some of the Poltergeist powers, killing Reapers, and we had a few damage tweaks as well. That’s what I remember off-hand. Somewhere between 5-10 house rules. The last LARP group I was with had literal binders of house rules, and a variety of them changed when storytelling staff switched to the next staff. It was a daisy chaining clusterfuck of rules shake ups.

Reverb Gamers is a January long prompt bonanza run by Atlas Games. They’re giving daily prompts that revolve around RPGs and gaming. You can find them at  www.Atlas-Games.com and follow them on twitter @ReverbGamers.

REVERB GAMERS 2012, #27: If you were an Ent, what kind of Ent would you be? Or, what other
NPC creature would you be? Why?

Tarrasque.

I mean, just say it with me. Tarrasque.

\m/

Reverb Gamers is a January long prompt bonanza run by Atlas Games. They’re giving daily prompts that revolve around RPGs and gaming. You can find them at  www.Atlas-Games.com and follow them on twitter @ReverbGamers.

REVERB GAMERS 2012, #26: Who or what was the most memorable NPC you’ve ever encountered?
Why?

NPCs that had emotional impact on the game are the most memorable for me. I don’t have a most memorable, as much of a host of them.

Most of them were long-running NPCs that were as much a part of the chronicle as the player characters.

Black, the mysterious and cantankerous Marshall in a Deadlands game. Bob Brown, the Syndicate operative who made the lives of player characters a financial living Hell in a Mage game. Prince Goldwin, in a vampire game, who I knew different angles of from character to character. Prince Alice, his successor, who had one of the most moving, brutal death scenes I’ve ever seen in a LARP. Lucias Saint James, who shed a light for a group of player character Hermetic Apprentices on their mentor’s painful, private life, and her complicated marriage. In Eberron, a dragonmarked bureaucrat who betrayed the local government and his own family. Recently, in Aethertide, Will’s been the most memorable NPC. As a little boy he was loved, and as an adult, utterly heartbreaking.